Fall is here, which means cuffing season is upon us. So fellas, hold on tight to your hoodies and don’t cuddle with just anyone.
In all seriousness though, I believe there is an epidemic circulating society. And no, I’m not referring to the stolen hoodie epidemic that seems to occur every winter. I’m referring to the distorted view of love most all of us have developed. Love is not considered permanent anymore; it’s situational. It’s circumstantial. People are falling in love only to fall out of love just a few years later. But if this is so, did they ever really love?
Now look, I’ve always thought of myself as a hopeless romantic. However, this idea of simply “falling in love” seems completely absurd to me. You don’t fall in love, you choose to love. Love is not natural; lust is natural. We are born selfish–we are born craving the fulfillment of our own desires. But love is selflessness. Love is putting the other person’s needs and wants before your own. It’s sacrifice. And this isn’t just about emotionally loving someone. This applies to the…uhhh…physical aspect of love (insert winkie face emoji).
Believe me, I really want to have sex. I’ll say it again: I really want to have sex. But sex itself is not love. Sure, it can be a piece to the puzzle. I mean, we all long for physical and personal relationships. God created us to be relational. The problem, however, is that we have mistakenly replaced genuine, everlasting love for the temporary satisfaction of sex. Especially us teenagers. You see, sex is a great thing. But it is not the only thing. And it certainly should not be shared with others like it’s the mono virus.
So what is love? To put it simply: God is love. If we want to truly exhibit authentic love to someone, both generically and romantically, we must strive to first demonstrate the same qualities Jesus demonstrated to us. We must put away our selfish and lustful desires of living as the world and for ourselves. Love isn’t an orgasm–love is patient. Love is kind. Love is perseverance. Love is trust, hope, and selflessness. And it never fails. People will fail, however. Every husband will eventually fail his wife and every wife will eventually fail her husband. The key is to build the foundation of love on Jesus and for both spouses to constantly display acts of compassion towards each other. And while we’re on the topic of marriage, let’s talk more about…
Sex. If anyone in this world is looking forward to marriage, it’s the sexually frustrated 17-year-old writing this blog. Along with the popular substitute of sex for true love, I have noticed many people sharing this intimately physical experience with multiple people in life, as if the words “private treasure” have no value. Look–God created sex to be an amorous and enjoyable experience. It is the innermost personal and physical connection two people can share. I don’t care what some theologians say, Song of Songs is not a metaphor. That man is clearly referring to making love with his wife. Read it for yourself–it might as well be called “Fifty Shades of Solomon.” But by spilling our love into the laps of those other than our spouses (or future spouses), we are taking away from the intimate treasure God has given us.
And intimate it will be. Sex and love were created to be intimate. They were created to be private. But they were also created for marriage. And what better way to illustrate authentic love to someone than by staying abstinent until marriage? I’m not saying that I’m going to, for I’m human and constantly miss the mark. However, I do strive to have the self-control to wait. To have no comparisons to former experiences. To have no emotional or physical baggage from previous encounters. Yeah, of course sex will be super awkward at the beginning of marriage if you wait. It will probably even be frustrating. But it will definitely be worth it. (Well, at least I hope so)
Let’s not fall for the temporary and selfish concept of love the world has created. Let’s become men and women who love genuinely and authentically, pursuing to represent Christ as much as possible in our relationships. And fellas, be careful who you give your hoodie to. It may seem right in the moment, but ensure that only the right girl is getting your hoodie. You only have one. And girls–don’t just accept any guy’s hoodie. Because some guys have nothing to offer but…their hoodie.