It's Tough, Dude

One day the grief will catch up to you. Be kind to it and to yourself. Allow it to do what it always needed to do -- to embrace you, and for you to feel it. Even when it feels like death. For it is in weeping that we feel the soft touch of something … Continue reading When grief catches up to you.

"Time is a one-way mirror" -- Tyson Motsenbocker "it was the way, standing stillor looking out,walking or even talkingwith others in the evening bar,holding your drinkand laughing with the rest,that you realized–part of youhad already dropped to its knees,to pray, to sing, to look–to fall in love with everythingand everyone again" -- from David Whyte's … Continue reading The Present Past.

Could you have loved me for who I am, not for who you wanted me to be? I would have tried to do the same. We've changed, you and I. The sameness has passed, and difference remains. Amidst the ways we've grown apart and shifted and been lost and endured loss, I throw rocks to … Continue reading Missing [the idea of] you.

Maybe it all belongs. Not to say that it's all good, or equal or needed but rather it's all here. The beauty, the wonder. The first kisses and the late night comedy bits. The maples in Vancouver and the poppy seeds in Pakistan. The bass in Lake Peachtree (I kissed a girl there once) and … Continue reading It (doesn’t) Belong(s).

I want to wake up with you next to me on a cold, Seattle Sunday. I'll wake up first, of course: you've always been the one to sleep in. And we'll walk the farmer's market with our rain jackets pulled over our fleece beanies. My hand in yours, like a metaphor of something larger than … Continue reading We.

"The nuns taught us there are two ways through life: the way of Nature, and the way of Grace. You have to choose which one you'll follow." -- Mrs. O'Brien, "The Tree of Life" "If you're having trouble forgiving others, forgive yourself. If you're having trouble forgiving yourself, forgive others." -- Rob Bell How do … Continue reading Blueberry Bagels.

I dreamt that we went surfing along the Oregon coast. Our lives, baptized by those cold, Pacific waves. On the shore, we ate plums dusted in sand. Cannon Beach, maybe. You laughed, and I smiled. And I don't remember the color of your eyes but I remember how I felt when you looked at me: … Continue reading Waves. (a poem)

"Eventually, all things merge into one, and a river runs through it." -- Norman Maclean, A River Runs Through It "So I go back to a pew, preacher, and a choirsinging 'bout God, brimstone and fireand the smell of Sunday chicken after church" -- Kenny Chesney, "I Go Back" "Get out my machete and battle … Continue reading On Rivers and Memories

"Stand still. The trees ahead and bushes beside you Are not lost. Wherever you are is called Here And you must treat it as a powerful stranger." -- David Wagoner, "Lost" "Oh, the places you'll go!" -- Dr. Seuss "It is in the shelter of each other that the people live." -- Irish proverb It's … Continue reading Being Here.

"But God is full of grace and his faithfulness is vastThere is safety in the moments when the shit has hit the fanNot some vindictive motherfucker, nor is he shitty at his jobWhat words to hear" -- "Persevere," Gang of Youths "[...] Then he rolled up the scroll, gave it back to the attendant and … Continue reading On Asking Questions